What Car Dealers Actually Mean

Buying a used car means reading two languages at once: the technical one where misreading a term costs thousands, and the one the trade speaks to itself and would rather you did not follow. Thirty-five phrases, including the ones about finance that nobody explains.

What is in it

• The years you could have been born, and what a house, a week of work and a pound actually cost in each of them.
• What has changed since, with the figures rather than the sighing.
• The honest bits about the age, written by somebody not pretending it is fine.
• Quizzes and things to argue about.
• Things you can now say and get away with.
• Around forty pages to fill in, which is the part that survives.

Formats and price

Part of What They Actually Mean, an Home Truths series.

Frequently asked

What does Cat N mean?

Cat N is a write-off you are allowed to drive. An insurer decided the repair would cost more than the car was worth and the damage was not structural. It can be a genuine bargain and it can be a car you will struggle to insure or sell, and the entry says how to tell which.

Is it really a joke book if it explains finance terms?

It is both, and the finance entries are the reason it is worth keeping. Balloon payment, voluntary termination and the VAT margin scheme are not funny and they are where the money is, so they are written straight.

Is it about the UK trade?

Yes. Cat N, HPI, the V5C and the MOT are UK terms with no exact equivalent elsewhere, though the sales language in the second half travels perfectly well.

Will it stop me being ripped off?

It will stop you being confused, which is most of it. Every entry ends with what to say back, and a buyer who asks the right question in the right words is treated differently from one who does not.