What Estate Agents Actually Mean
A Property Jargon Buster: Sold STC, Guide Price, Chain Free and 200 More House Buying Phrases, Decoded
The pilot decoder. Estate agent language in two registers: the technical terms that change what you pay, like sold STC, guide price and vacant possession, and the flattering ones that cost you a wasted Saturday, like deceptively spacious. Every entry says what to say back.
Not out yet. This page exists so the work is visible while it is being made, which is more honest than a placeholder.
What is in it
- The years you could have been born, and what a house, a week of work and a pound actually cost in each of them.
- What has changed since, with the figures rather than the sighing.
- The honest bits about the age, written by somebody not pretending it is fine.
- Quizzes and things to argue about.
- Things you can now say and get away with.
- Around forty pages to fill in, which is the part that survives.
Formats and price
| Format | Price | Why |
|---|---|---|
| Hardback | £14.99 | The gift version. Survives being kept. |
| Paperback | £9.99 | The one most people buy. |
| Ebook | £4.99 | Read it, but you cannot write in it. |
Where the material came from
The sourced tables in this book are published free on the site. If you only need a line for a card, take it from there and keep your money.
- estate agents (in production)
Part of What They Actually Mean, an Home Truths series.
Frequently asked
- What does sold STC actually mean?
- Sold STC means an offer has been accepted and nothing legally binding has happened yet. In England and Wales either side can still walk away, for any reason, right up to exchange of contracts. It is the single most misread phrase on a property listing, which is why it opens the book.
- Is this a joke book or a useful one?
- Both, deliberately. Roughly half the entries are technical terms that change what you pay or what you can walk away from, and the other half are the flattering phrases everyone recognises. A book of only jokes is read once. A book of only definitions is not bought as a gift.
- Is the whole list free on the website?
- Yes. The decoder page carries the full glossary at no cost. The book exists because it fits in a jacket pocket at a viewing, it is printed, and it can be handed to somebody as a present, which a web page cannot.
- Is it about British property listings?
- Yes. The terms are the ones used in England and Wales, and the book says where Scotland differs, because Scottish offers bind earlier and gazumping works differently there.